Top Quotes: “How to Speak Brit: The Quintessential Guide to the King’s English, Cockney Slang, and Other Flummoxing British Phrases” — C.J. Moore

Introduction

“In the Middle Ages, Latin and French had been the languages of government and diplomacy, but during the Renaissance the change to vernacular languages was happening all over Europe, and England was no exception. As yet, English had little or no standard spelling and existed in a thousand different varieties and dialects. Only around the start of the fifteenth century did a standard form of English begin to be adopted for government business in London, thus establishing a court English as opposed to a country English.”

“A national bank discovered that its telephone clients seemed to trust a Scottish accent more than any other, and so it was to be.”

“Coventry, send someone to (expression)

To ostracize, ignore, shun, or treat as a pariah.

Coventry is a businesslike town in the Midlands (the area that separates the north of England from the south) that appears to have never done anyone any harm, yet the saying implies otherwise. Like so many sayings that enter popular language, this one has an uncertain origin. It may have its roots in the seventeenth century when, during the English Civil War between Royalists and Parliamentarians, any soldiers of King Charles I that were captured in the battles around the Midlands were literally sent to Coventry, a town that was loyal to Parliament. The people of Coventry were not very welcoming to these enemies and tended to ignore the disgraced soldiers, refusing to serve them in taverns or inns so they were largely reduced to begging in the streets. To be sent to Coventry, then, may have served as a threat hanging over Royalist soldiers so that they fought all the harder to avoid capture.

Unfortunately, the threat didn’t have the required effect. The Parliamentarians subsequently defeated and deposed the forces of King Charles I and, in 1649, in an act that sent shockwaves around the royal courts of Europe, cut off his head. Many thought we had reached, in today’s phrase, the end of monarchy, but it was not to be.”

“The term Dickensian is still used to describe acute conditions of poverty or deprivation wherever they may be found in Britain.”

“Old Blighty (noun phrase)

An affectionate term for Britain, commonly used at the beginning of the First World War and featured in popular marching songs.

Old Blighty, sometimes just Blighty, derives from military slang dating from the Indian campaigns of the nineteenth century. Blighty was the British soldier’s corruption of the Hindi word bilayati, meaning “foreign.” In their Anglo-Indian dictionary of 1886, Yule and Burnell say that the word referred to a number of unfamiliar products that the British brought with them.

The expression came into common use as a term for Britain at the beginning of the First World War. It is nearly always associated with the soldier’s sense of loss and nostalgia for the old country and turns up in popular marching songs.”

“When it poured down in earlier times, did city dwellers literally see the streets awash with dead cats and dogs, as Swift’s poem “Description of a City Shower” tells us? There seems no better theory to offer than poor drainage and a plague of unfortunate stray animals.”

“When it was our turn to rule the world and we needed a lot of ships and men to police it, there was a constant call for recruitment to the navy. Life at sea was not attractive for a simple seaman (or jack tar), and there were no union representatives or lawyers on board to say, “Please stop flogging that man.” So persuading healthy young men to join up was not an easy task. As a result, the navy resorted to trickery. So-called press gangs went around to dockside pubs and bought drinks for the unwary. The trick was that at the bottom of the pewter pot was a coin, and on finishing the drink you automatically “took the King’s shilling,” thus you agreed to join up.

As people became aware of this trap, pubs began to sell alcohol in glass bottom pewter pots to make the coin visible. As you lifted the tankard, you could then see the coin against the glass bottom. Hence the expression bottoms up, which continues to be used as a happy exhortation to drink up.”

“Elevenses (noun)

A drink and small snack consumed around eleven o’clock in the morning to bridge the gap between breakfast and lunch.

The simple identification of a time of day with a snack seems logical enough. In the English world, elevenses are eaten at eleven o’clock in the morning, and usually consist of a cup of tea or coffee and some sweet accompaniment in the form of cake or cookies.”

“Traditionally, drinking hours were strictly controlled. Around 11 p.m. the landlord rings a bell and gives his customers ten minutes drinking-up time to down their drinks and leave the premises in an orderly fashion. In more remote places there survives the discreet tradition of the lock-in, where a select group of the landlord’s regulars are allowed to stay on and drink after the doors are shut and the curtains drawn. The relaxation of licensing hours was supposed to have ended this practice, but it is so delightfully illicit that I am sure it continues.

However, these days pubs seem to be in trouble. The British Beer and Pub Association claims pub beer sales are at half the level they were in 1979. And — according to CAMRA (the Campaign for Real Ale) — pubs are closing at the rate of sixty per month. Country pubs seem the hardest hit, with the recent ban on smoking and severe penalties for drunk-driving making people more inclined to drink at home. For many pubs, survival depends on encouraging families to eat out.”

“Tristram Shandy is the eponymous hero and narrator of Laurence Sterne’s riotous and confusing eighteenth-century novel that was written as a broadside against rationalism. Never has a book leaned so much on nonsense, non sequiturs, and spontaneous distractions from the plot.

Sterne adored playing with language and he was a compulsive lover and inventor of words with a number of first attributions in The Oxford English Dictionary to his name, including lackadaisical, whimsicality, muddle-headed, good-tempered, and sixth sense.”

“Cut a dash (expression)

Dressed to impress or dressed in one’s finest attire with the aim of making a sartorial impression.”

“Before gutters and street drains were in common use, houses had wide eaves to allow rain to fall far from the walls and windows. Going right back to Old English, this extended roof was known first as the eavesdrip, and later as eavesdrop. A passerby, standing under the eavesdrop, would be likely to hear conversations from within the house without the knowledge of those inside.”

“In am anonymously authored eighteenth-century morality tale for children, The History of Little Goody Two Shoes, Goody Two Shoes was a poor, ragged, orphan girl named Margery who only had one shoe. Upon being given a full pair she went around showing them off to everyone. With her two shoes, Margery goes around trying to do as much good as possible, and consequently grows up to be comfortable, well off, and happy, thus proving the superiority of a good little girl over “such wicked Folks, who love nothing but Money, and are proud and despise the Poor, and never come to any good in the End.” So, from that time on, a Goody Two Shoes, (sometimes shortened to a goody-goody) is a mocking reference to a woman or girl you think is too smug and self-righteous.”

“Nowt so queer as folk (expression)

A saying that remarks kindly on the foibles and strangeness of other people, and roughly translates as “Human beings are a funny bunch.””

“A moment to reflect on the classic northern observation that “All the world’s mad save thee and me; and even thee’s a little queer.””

“The original use of the term posh referred to the position of ship’s cabins on the long sea journey out to India in the days of the Raj. Port-Out; Starboard-Home was the preferred location as those sides of the ship suffered less from the heat of direct sunlight on the corresponding journey.”

“All mouth and no trousers (expression)

Used to describe a man whose sense of self-importance is in inverse proportion to his actual relevance.”

“As pleased as Punch (expression)

To be very pleased indeed. Named after a wicked puppet that was popular with children in years gone by and who delighted in his own bad behavior.

People of a certain age will remember the childish pleasures of summertime in fairs and days at the beach that often included the Punch and Judy puppet show. The appallingly wicked behavior of Mr. Punch, who beat all around him with his stick, would raise shrieks of laughter, matched only by the squeals when a crocodile popped up with its terrible jaws. The association with as pleased as arose from the fact that the grotesque figure of Punch wore a permanent grin and is delighted with his own wickedness, crying “That’s the way to do it!” after each of his foul deeds.”

“At sixes and sevens (expression)

In a state of disarray and confusion.”

“For day-to-day trading purposes, medieval guilds maintained their own standards and ensured their traders honored them. One basic product that lent itself to cheating was bread, as it can be hard to make loaves of a consistent size and weight. So at least as early as the thirteenth century the bakers’ guild, the Worshipful Company of Bakers, introduced the practice of adding a little extra in-bread to the loaf sold, in order to ensure they were not selling underweight, for which the punishment was severe. For the same reason, when selling bread in bulk to other traders, they added a thirteenth loaf to every twelve sold.”

“Bob’s your uncle (expression)

A nonsensical saying meaning “and there you are!” or “It’s that simple!”

This phrase refers to any task that can be accomplished neatly and simply with a kind of precision, after which one can say with satisfaction “and Bob’s your uncle.” The expression naturally lends itself to all sorts of silly and disbelieving replies, such as, “and Fanny’s my aunt.”

It supposedly originated with the appointment of Arthur Balfour, nephew of the Victorian Prime Minister Robert Cecil, Lord Salisbury, to be Chief Secretary for Ireland in 1887, an office for which no one, other than his Uncle Robert, thought he had any useful qualifications at all. So he got the job purely because Bob was his uncle.”

“By hook or by crook (expression)

A very old phrase meaning to use any means possible and bearing no relation to criminals.

It is good to find a phrase in common use that goes back as far as this one, and that appears (though not entirely proven) to connect us to our feudal past. The first recorded use of the phrase is from the fourteenth century.

In medieval times when the peasantry were not allowed to cut down trees, they were permitted nonetheless to gather firewood from loose or dead branches that could be obtained using a hook (bill-hook) or a crook, a staff with a curved end like the kind shepherds would use. No doubt desperate peasants often exceeded the strict use of these tools, and so the term has evolved into its current usage meaning to achieve something by whatever means possible.”

“A popular song of the time had already raised spirits at home, and a phrase in its rousing chorus became a byword for imperialistic gloating over the forthcoming challenge to Russia:

We don’t want to fight but by Jingo if we do

We’ve got the ships, we’ve got the men, we’ve got the money too

We’ve fought the Bear before, and while we’re Briton true

The Russians shall not have Constantinople.”

“Crumbs! (exclamation)

An expression that is used innocently by children to mean “Goodness!” It is closely related to other jolly British terms like “Golly Gosh!” and “Cor blimey!”

British children who grew up on literature featuring schoolboy heroes like Bunter, William, and Jennings, let alone the manifold works of Enid Blyton, will instantly recognize the strength of emotion that can go into a simple exclamation like Crumbs!

Yet despite its seemingly childish innocence, this term, along with its cousin Crikey!, is a euphemism for Christ, which in more respectful times was a taboo utterance, at least when said profanely.

Related, though perhaps slightly less innocent, is the exclamation Cor blimey! often shortened to just Cor! This phrase is a version of Gor blimey! which itself is a verbal turn on the exclamation “God blind me!” Like Crumbs! it can express either surprise or anger.”

“Dog and bone (noun)

A phrase used in Cockney rhyming slang to mean a telephone.

You would never guess that this means a phone. This creative style of speech is a peculiarity of Cockneys, those born within the sound of Bow Bells, namely the bells of St. Mary-le-Bow church in Cheapside in the City of London. They have a long renown as witty and enterprising street traders, and more recently as financial market traders. These folk invented a way of substituting words for others that rhymed, calling stairs for example, apples and pears. A hat is known as a fitter (short for tit-for-tat). The special feature of rhyming slang is that the rhyme comes from a pair of words, but only the first word is used as an abbreviation. So a phone (dog and bone) is referred to as a dog. A suit (whistle and flute) is a whistle. Put them altogether, and a hatless man on his way out to the local pub might ask his trouble to be a dear and pop up the apples for his titfer. Translated: Our gent is asking his wife (trouble and strife to pop up the stairs (apples) and bring him his hat. See? It’s easy when you know how! Here are some other well-known examples of Cockney rhyming slang:

Brown bread: dead

Butcher’s hook: have a look

China plate: mate

Mincers (shortened from mince pies): eyes

Plates (shortened from plates of meat): feet”

“Mmm (interjection)

One of those conversational enigmas that can mean almost anything and frequently has more “mmms” added to it to make it even more baffling.

Those familiar with British conversation will recognize this common reply to a question, while feeling that its meaning is never quite clear. This is because it can actually have one or even two of several meanings, depending on intonation and gesture (which may be no more than a movement of the eyebrows). It can mean Yes, No, Maybe, Rather not, Don’t think so, Sometimes, Oh, yes? Really?, or What do you mean? A shake or nod of the head will sometimes tell you if the general meaning is positive or negative. The longer Mmm, as in Mmmmmm, can be taken as indicating severe doubt or reservation.”

“Naff (adjective)

Uncool or lacking style in a way that is uniquely British and frequently eccentric.”

“Natter (verb)

To chat away harmlessly and endlessly — about everything.”

“Nineteen to the dozen (expression)

When something happens quickly, especially in reference to talking or having a natter.

This phrase is most often used to describe speech patterns, hence, she talked nineteen to the dozen.”

“Red herrings, colored so by the process of salting and smoking, were a cheap form of food in the Middle Ages and had a particularly strong smell. The belief is that because of this they were used to mislead hunting dogs by being dragged across country. From this practice came the meaning of a false scent.”

“Whinge (verb)

To complain or moan.”

“Argy-bargy (noun, verb)

Playful word for a disagreement, such as when two men quarrel in a pub.”

“Curate’s egg (noun phrase)

Polite phrase that describes something that is good in parts, but not the whole.

A curate’s egg is therefore used to refer to something, such as a book being reviewed, which out of politeness one does not wish to condemn utterly. “Like the curate’s egg, good in parts” is a common use of the phrase.”

“Hair of the dog (that bit you) (noun phrase)

Dubious hangover cure consisting of a small amount of the same drink that led to the hangover.”

“Knuckle down (verb)

To begin working or studying hard, but without complaining (which would be un-British).

Knuckling down strikes me as a very British characteristic, in the sense of accepting difficulties that arise and just getting on with things. It is all the more surprising that its origin is the humble game of marbles, and comes from the rule that you must keep your knuckle down where your marble has just been. From that rule, to knuckle down had the eighteenth-century dictionary sense of “to stoop, bend, yield, comply with, or submit to.” Of course, the unspoken rule in British behavior is to accept without complaint, and so we have made this a positive virtue, applying oneself to the task as needed.”

“On the pull (expression)

Out looking for a sexual partner, a term often used when going out to a pub or club.”

“Spend a penny (verb)

A rather charming phrase meaning to visit the bathroom.

To spend a penny comes from the old practice, literally, of having to put a penny in the door of a public bathroom to use it. “To see a man about a dog” is an informal phrase that appears to go back to the mid-nineteenth century and in its earlier sense meant to go and visit a woman sexually.”