Top Quotes: “Sex and World Peace” — Valerie Hudson
Introduction
“A French researcher named Bertran Auvert ran a medical trial in South Africa and came upon findings so encouraging that the trial was halted so the new preventive measure could be applied at once.
What was this magical treatment?
Circumcision. For reasons Auvert and other scientists do not fully understand, circumcision was found to reduce the risk of HIV transmission by as much as 60 percent in heterosexual men. Subsequent studies in Kenya and Uganda corroborated Auvert’s results.
All over Africa, foreskins began to fall. “People are used to policies that target behaviors,” said one South African health official, “but circumcision is a surgical intervention — it’s cold, hard steel.””
“Chen and his colleagues gave the monkey a coin and then showed a treat. Whenever the monkey gave the coin back to the researcher, it got the treat. It took many months, but the monkeys eventually learned that the coins could buy the treats.
It turned out that individual monkeys had strong preferences for different treats. A capuchin would be presented with twelve coins on a tray — his budget constraint — and then be offered, say, Jell-O cubes by one researcher and apple slices by another. The monkey would hand his coins to whichever researcher held the food he preferred, and the researcher would fork over the goodies.
Chen now introduced price shocks and income shocks to the monkeys’ economy. Let’s say Felix’s favorite food was Jell-O, and he was accustomed to getting three cubes of it for one coin. How would he respond if one coin suddenly bought just two cubes?
To Chen’s surprise, Felix and the others responded rationally. When the price of a given food rose, the monkeys bought less of it, and when the price fell, they bought more. The most basic law of economics — that the demand curve slopes downward — held for monkeys as well as humans.”
“One monkey, rather than handing his coin over to the humans for a grape or a slice of apple, instead approached a second monkey and gave it to her. Chen had done earlier research in which monkeys were found to be altruistic. Had he just witnessed an unprompted act of monkey altruism?
After a few seconds of grooming — bam! — the two capuchins were having sex.
What Chen had seen wasn’t altruism at all, but rather the first instance of monkey prostitution in the recorded history of science.”
“We argue that gender inequality is a form of violence that creates a generalized context of violence and exploitation at the societal level. These norms of violence have an impact on everything from population growth to economics and regime type.”
“In a major shift from the conventional understanding, we suggest that efforts to establish greater peace and security throughout the world might be made more effective by also addressing the violence and exploitation that occur in personal relationships between the two halves of humanity, men and women.”
Patrilocality
“Virtually all traditional cultures remain patrilocal, which simply means that brides relocate to the home of the groom’s family upon marriage. Western societies, too, until very recently, were almost always patrilocal. Patrilocality ensures patrilineal inheritance, and patriline claim on all children produced by sons. It also ensures that all men of the clan are kin, mitigating in-group conflict. However, the family psychology produced by patrilocality may have a devastating effect on women and girls. Given concerns over the genetic consequences of inbreeding, girls may find themselves married to grooms who live a substantial distance away from their natal family. Furthermore, as noted above, girls may be married off quite young, for reasons of honor. In such a context, natal families may live with their daughters for only ten to fifteen years and may possibly rarely or never see them again after marriage. In addition, the daughter’s children are members of the groom’s family, not her natal family.
For all of these reasons, a girl may be viewed as a “houseguest” in her own family.”
Violence Against Women
“In the United States, the largest risk factor for poverty in old age is to have ever given birth to a child — that is, to be a mother.”
“We argue that the treatment of women — what is happening in intimate interpersonal relationships between men and women creates a context in which violence and exploitation seem natural.”
“Rape in war has been considered a war crime only since June 1, 1996. Before that, it was just what men did in war and was unremarkable, such as when the Red Army invaded Germany at the end of World War II, raping and literally crucifying women as they advanced. Or when women were killed by Japanese officers in Nanjing by having ceremonial swords thrust into their vaginas.”
“One-quarter of Swedish women will experience domestic violence at least once during their lifetime. In Afghanistan, the figure is 87 percent.”
“In one focus group of men in DR Congo, one man commented,
I cannot imagine a situation before now when my wife will refuse me sex. She could not, because that would result in severe beating from me. She was my property and I could use her in any way possible. Whether she enjoyed the sex or not was not even discussed. The important thing is that I enjoyed it.
Another man explained,
I was a normal man, living with my family in normal way. I behaved like every man within the society. My wife was a slave to me, she had no rights and had to respect me absolutely. She was always in the home, and could not go out to meet other women. She belonged to me, because at our marriage, I paid a bride-price — the dowry, which gave me all the authority to treat her as I wished. She was at my mercy for sexual activity, anytime, anyplace, anywhere. Refusal went with punishment. I was a complete tyrant in my home.
The women’s focus group concurred: “I was only a sex machine for [my husband]. He used me as he wished. I could not argue with him or refuse him sex.”
Lack of bodily integrity in sex, of course, results in lack of control over fertility:
“Family planning was not a topic ever discussed. It was men who decided how many children and when. Women were just “baby producing machines.””
“In many areas of the world where indoor plumbing and sanitation are not available, women are able to use field latrines only at dawn and at dusk to avoid harassment and immodesty. They are expected to hold in their urine and feces during the rest of the day, and may be unable to meet their sanitation needs during menstruation.One informant from Kenya told of women having to urinate and defecate in bags during the day, and then having to go out at night and throw the bags as far as they could into the fields.”
““I may die, but I still cannot go out. If there’s something in the house, we eat. Otherwise, we go to sleep.” So Metha Bai, a young widow in Rajasthan, India, with two young children, described her plight as a member of a caste whose women are traditionally prohibited from working outside the home — even when, as here, survival itself is at issue. If she stays at home, she and her children may shortly die. If she attempts to go out, her in-laws will beat her and abuse her children. For now, Metha Bai’s father travels from 100 miles away to plow her small plot of land. But he is aging, and Metha Bai fears that she and her children will shortly die with him.
Metha Bai is apparently being denied the right to feed herself and her children.”
“In Afghanistan, for example, there have been numerous complaints of girls being sold into marriage to much older men as repayment for debts contracted by their fathers, even over the objections of their mothers. “Afghans readily use their daughters to settle debts and assuage disputes. Polygamy is practiced. A man named Mohammed Fazal, 45, [said] that village elders had urged him to take his second wife, 13-year-old Majabin, in lieu of money owed him by the girl’s father. The two men had been gambling at cards while also ingesting opium and hashish.
In addition to the use of girls as currency to pay off financial debts, girls may be given as restitution for a crime: “Some Afghans refer to the practice as ‘giving bad,’ a traditional method of conflict resolution in which a murderer, a thief, or a debtor is forced by tribal elders to give a daughter or sister as payment to the victim’s family.”“
“It is in the steppes of Central Asia that the practice of marriage-by-rape, euphemistically called “capture marriage,” is most prevalent, however, and increasing in prevalence over time. It is estimated that at least one-third of all brides in Kyrgyzstan are abducted and married against their will, and in some rural villages, up to 80 percent of the women have been subject to this practice. A common saying in this culture is “Every good marriage begins in tears.”
Bride kidnapping, also called marriage by abduction or marriage by capture, occurs when a young woman, usually below the age of 25, is typically taken through force or deception by a group of men, including the intended groom. Sometimes the men are people she has met prior to the incident; sometimes they are complete strangers. The men are usually drunk; she is usually alone. She is taken to the home of her principal abductor, the intended groom, where his female relatives use physical force and a variety of forms of psychological coercion to compel her to “agree” to the marriage and submit to having the marriage scarf placed on her head — the sign that she consents to marry her abductor. If the kidnapped woman resists, this process can last for hours or days. Her abductor usually rapes her, sometimes prior to her coerced consent to the marriage to shame her to stay rather than go home disgraced. Rape can also occur following the wedding cerémony.
Kyrgyzstan also has the dubious distinction of being the first former Soviet republic to seek to legalize polygamy. Polygamy is quite common in both the Middle East and Africa. In the Middle East, the number of wives taken may be limited by law (often to four), but in some Islamic societies, men are allowed up to ninety-nine muta’a marriages, or temporary marriages in which the woman provides sex to a man for a specified price and for a specified time (which may be counted in hours). In the majority of cultures in sub-Saharan Africa, polygamy is sanctioned. Unlike Islam, there may be no limit on the number of wives that may be taken, with some men recorded as having more than twenty wives and more than a hundred children in nations such as Kenya. Anthropologists suggest that the ubiquity of polygamy in sub-Saharan African culture may derive from women’s performance of most agricultural work; marrying many women is an established way for a man to increase his wealth and productivity.
In Canada, now that consensual group sex has been deemed legal, there are also some voices pressing for legalizing polygamy. However, research has shown that polygamy often exploits women, is insufficiently supportive of children, and places a large economic burden on the state.”
The Law
“There is a special place in infamy for the hudood ordinances of Pakistan, which were for the most part repealed in 2005, but are threatening to make a comeback. Similar laws have also been implemented in the Islamic north of Nigeria. Under these ordinances, a woman who had been raped could be stoned to death for adultery.”
“In rural China it is estimated that 97 percent of rural farmland is inherited by males, even though Chinese law gives women equal rights concerning inheritance. In 2008, it was estimated that only 5 percent of registered property owners in Kenya were female. This is despite the fact that women may perform up to 75 percent of all agricultural labor in such societies. The inability to hold land in one’s name critically affects issues such as caloric intake, ability to access credit, and many other important aspects of daily life.”
“Women are necessary for nationalist movements to succeed, but women are also a double-edged sword, in that they can doom or subvert nationalist causes when they see common cause with women of the “enemy,” such as in a desire for peace so they can raise their children in safety. As a result, while a nationalist movement may court women, the victory of the movement will almost never result in improved status for women. To the contrary, it almost always results in a rescinding of whatever rights existed for women under the previous regime. While we could easily pick examples from the French Revolution, the Iranian Revolution, and many others, including the recent invasion of Iraq that resulted in significant setbacks for women in the area of human rights, we choose to highlight one from American history. From before the time of the American Revolution, women in New Jersey had the right to vote, and they exercised that right until the U. S. Constitution was adopted in 1807–which summarily disenfranchised all women in the United States for another 113 years.”
“Ironically, the United States insisted on quotas for women in both countries it invaded, Iraq and Afghanistan, so that now there is a significantly higher percentage of women in the legislatures of those two nations than in the United States itself.”
“Salary estimates of how much money would be required to buy the services of a full-time mother and housewife on the open market in 2009 in the United States ranged from around $125,000 to more than $700,000.”
“Despite the lack of legal restrictions upon women’s freedom of movement, law enforcement frequently follows the norms of society. In Egypt, for example, married women do not legally need the permission of their fathers in order to obtain passports and travel, but they require it in practice nonetheless. Similarly, Moroccan government passport authorities may require unmarried women to produce a “certificate of good conduct,” although no legal stipulation requires it. In the United Arab Emirates and Lebanon, women are guaranteed freedom of movement by law, but a man can prevent a wife or unmarried daughters from leaving the country by contacting immigration authorities. In Yemen, although it is against the law to do so, a male guardian can prevent a woman from obtaining education or employment outside the home, and law enforcement officials often obey a husband’s wishes.
There have been a number of recent legal changes in Islamic countries regarding segregation. Turkey repealed a law in 1990 that required a woman to obtain permission from a husband to work outside the home. In 1996 Palestinian women obtained the right to obtain passports without the consent of male guardians after age eighteen. Bangladesh lifted the ban on female travel in 2005. In the past few years Lebanon, Jordan, and Bahrain have dismissed the law that required a woman to have a husband’s permission before obtaining a passport. Despite all these legal improvements, some nations still lag behind their peers in repealing these laws or they enforce segregation in a way that is cause for concern. Syrian law actually gives a man the right to prevent a wife and daughters from leaving the country, and Omani law requires a male guardian’s permission for a woman to travel outside the country.
As the map shows, Iran and Saudi Arabia are two countries where the segregation of the sexes and the systematic restriction of women’s movements are part of the legal code and are enforced by state police.”
“In Tunisia (speaking of conditions before the revolution of 2011) it is against the law to wear a hijab in public office buildings, and government ministers frequently denounce the wearing of veils as foreign to Tunisia’s traditions. The original decree against hijabs, which has since been repealed, “led to an oppressive campaign against veiled women in public institutions, in the streets, on public transport and in hospitals. It included violence against the women, the tearing of their clothing and their removal to security centres.””
““Evidence indicates that relative deprivation (as indexed by income inequality) is typically a more powerful predictor of variation in male violence than other socioeconomic measures such as percent below the poverty line or average income.”
This increasing male monopoly over the economic resources needed by females for reproduction is not mirrored in nonhuman primates, where females collect their own food. It is in human societies, especially after the development of agriculture and animal husbandry in which land and animals belonged exclusively to men, that the complete economic dependence of the female could be effected. As Smuts notes in a survey of empirical results produced by various researchers, the lower the share of female contribution to subsistence, the higher the level of wife beating and rape within the society.”
Norms
“Socially imposed monogamy, posited as leading to the depersonalization of power through democracy and capitalism, helped to open the way for improved status for women. Another example is offered by the historian Mary Hartman, whose research has demonstrated that when northwestern Europe began in the twelfth century to break traditions of patrilocality and the marriage of pubescent girls to grooms ten years older, this unprecedented one-two punch to the traditional male dominance hierarchy that structured society created equally unprecedented changes in societal attitudes about many things, including governance. Indeed, Hartman believes that it was the more egalitarian marriages of northwestern Europe that set the stage for the rise of sustainable democracy (and capitalism) in human society.
Long before the contingent nature of the marital contract was recognized in law, marriages were conducted in northwestern Europe as joint enterprises by the two adult members, each of whom had recognized and reciprocal duties and obligations. In circumstances that required both members of an alliance to work and postpone marriage until there was a sufficient economic base to establish a household, individual self-reliance was a requirement long before individualism itself became an abstract social and political ideal. A sense of equality of rights was further promoted by such arrangements long before notions of egalitarianism became the popular coin of political movements. These later marriages, forged now through consent by the adult principals, offered themselves as implicit models to the sensibilities of political and religious reformers grappling with questions of authority. Experience in families, which were miniature contract societies unique to northwestern Europe, offers a plausible explanation for popular receptivity to the suggestion that the state itself rests upon a prior and breakable contract with all its members. And if this is so, the influence of family organization on the ways people were coming to conceive and shape the world at large can hardly be exaggerated.
The lingering mystery about the origins of a movement of equal rights and individual freedom can be explained. Contrary to notions that these were imported items, it appears that they, along with charity, began at home.
In a sense, then, the companionate marriages of the late marriage system were a training ground for sustainable participatory democracy. To live domestic parity day in and day out, year after year, allowed the majority of individuals in society to appreciate the virtues of voluntary association in larger collectives, including the state. As Hartman puts it, “More important than (class and religious divisions for the appearance of equality as a popular political ideal was the shared domestic governance most people had experienced from the Middle Ages.” When you mitigate the social structure of the male dominance hierarchy, especially through family and personal status law, the effects cascade outward in unforeseen and felicitous ways.”
“Wilson reports how one female village organization in India, the Mahila Mandal, was able to reduce domestic violence by having all the women run as one to the home of any woman who was being beaten by her husband and protect her from further abuse. The Mahila Mandal was also able to force domestic abusers to temporarily leave the home for a cooling-off period, rather than the victim having to leave her home. Through such collective action, levels of domestic violence against women decreased.”
“Patterson also states that boys who engage in high frequencies of antisocial behavior are at a significantly greater risk to commit violent acts within their communities. This strongly suggests that violence at different levels of analysis are connected, in that states that allow violence against women to persist are allowing men — the half of society that holds both physical and political power — to engage in frequent antisocial acts, perhaps even on a daily basis. This increases the likelihood that they will experience low barriers to engaging in violence on an even larger scale, up to and including intrasocietal and interstate conflict. Societal expectations of benefits from violence at every level of analysis will almost certainly be higher if men — who are dominant in political power in virtually every human society — have received many rewards from committing high frequencies of aggressive acts toward women. Unless aggression toward women becomes less rewarding to men, and less frequently engaged in, and prosocial skills become more functional within families, communities, and societies, violence against women will continue.”
“There is some evidence that bullies in their young teenage years become perpetrators of sexual harassment during their later teen years and are likely to become sexual assault perpetrators in adulthood.”
“Female children or adults do not appear to have as positive same-sex compatibility, comparable to that found among males. Even at three months of age, both sexes preferred to attend to the male peers. These findings, coupled with the fact that in most societies, women are structurally organized in patrilocal families under the direction of men, could explain why even when women associate with other women, their allegiance is primarily to the male heads of their households. As previously discussed, this may also be a tragic by-product of human evolution as it pertains to female choice.”
Sex and World Peace
“Evolutionary theory tells us that clan or national identity is almost exclusively male-defined, for in the evolutionary landscape, it was males who defined who was a member of the in-group and who belonged to outgroups, determined on the basis of male reproductive and resource concerns. “Gender relations are a crucial, not peripheral, dimension of the dynamics of group identities and intergroup conflicts,” thus helping to explain the inherent nationalist antipathy toward feminist goals.”
“Goldstein believes that men adhere more strongly than women do to an in-group versus an out-group psychology and are, therefore, inherently more hostile toward outsiders, more able to demonize and dehumanize an enemy, and hence more willing to be violent and even kill.”
“How to explain, for example, that the death toll among Indian women as a result of female infanticide and sex-selective abortion from 1980 to the present is almost forty times the death toll from all of India’s wars since and including its bloody struggle for independence?”
“Caprioli and Mark Boyer examine the impact of gender equality on a state’s behavior during international crises, which is a situation in which there is a high probability of violence. They wanted to find out whether gender equality has an impact on state behavior when violence is highly likely. They show that states exhibiting high levels of gender equality measured by the percentage of women in parliament also exhibit lower levels of violence in international crises and disputes. Examining aggregate data over a fifty-year period (1954–1994), they found a statistically significant relationship between level of violence in crisis and the percentage of female leaders. In general, states with higher levels of political gender equality are less likely to have minor clashes, serious clashes, or war in the high-stakes environment of international crisis.”
“Laura Betzig, in an intriguing empirical study of societies, found the correlation between polygyny and despotism to be statistically significant. Anthropologists have found significant correlation between polygyny and the amount of warfare in which societies engage; Boone even suggests that polygynous societies are more likely to engage in expansionist warfare as a means of distracting low-status males who may be left without mates.”
“In comparative testing with other conventional explanatory factors assumed to be related to such measures of state security — factors including level of democracy, level of wealth, and prevalence of Islamic civilization — the physical security of women explains more of the variance in the same three measures of state security in both bivariate and multivariate analysis. In addition, we can show that other practices indicating a low level of security for women, whether that be prevalent polygyny, inequitable family law and practice favoring men, or a high level of discrepancy between state law and societal practice concerning women, are also associated with lower levels of state peacefulness in a strong and significant manner.”
“Terrorism is a topic that may profit from gender analysis: does polygamy lead to marriage market dislocations, which also heightens the allure of the terrorism among young adult males with no hope of eventually marrying? Does the subjected status of women feed into the development of terrorist groups offering a promise of greater equality to women, as we see in Sri Lanka and Nepal?”
“The history of revolution is a history of nationalist movements wooing women to their side, only to strip them of what few rights they have after the revolution is successful. Whether we speak of America in 1776, or India in 1947, or the Palestinian movement today, nationalist leaders and revolutionaries are happy to have women’s support and material assistance, as long as women acquiesce in the denial of their rights afterward. Gilbert and Cole note, “Many women who participated actively in the French Revolution did not know that by 1793 the revolution would to all intents and purposes ban them from political life. Many women who participated in the Iranian Revolution did not know that the end result would be a conservative backlash against them.”
In a remarkable move, the 2009 public demonstrations against the current Iranian regime featured male dissidents wearing headscarves. While the back-story on this was complex, one dissident asserted, “We Iranian men are late doing this. … If we did this when rusari (the headscarf] was forced on those among our sisters who did not wish to wear it 30 years ago, we would have perhaps not been here today.” This is a profound and poignant statement. Men who see women as beings who must be subjugated will themselves be forever subjugated. Men who see women as their equal and valued partners are the only men who have a true chance to win their freedom and enjoy peace.”
“Posters were hung in men’s bathrooms in bars. The posters showed the entrance to a brothel and had the line, “Walk in a punter. Walk out a rapist.” To begin to label a “john” a “rapist” is the start of something very important in British society. Iceland has recently banned strip clubs and topless waitressing, with the prime minister opining, “I guess the men of Iceland will just have to get used to the idea that women are not for sale.””
“In an experiment, the provision of cable TV to rural Indian communities shows depicting educated, powerful female characters resulted in a significant decrease in the “aspiration gap” between male and female teens, as well as their parents. Just seeing a different and better life for women was sufficient to create new horizons for young women in these communities.”
“It is hard to overstate the role of Suzanne Mubarak in helping to decrease rates of female circumcision in Egypt. Her tireless campaigning against this practice as harmful to the health of Egyptian women eventually bore fruit, but it took her position and influence to help create the conditions for change. Through her efforts, linked with the efforts of others, female circumcision was catapulted into the public discourse: the Ministry of Religious Affairs has issued a booklet explaining that the practice is not part of Islam; prominent religious leaders have declared the practice haram (forbidden in Islam) and harmful; state-run television channels have aired advertisements against the practice; a national hotline was established to answer questions; and television news shows and newspapers have willingly reported on botched operations and the death of young girls undergoing circumcision.
The practice is now, finally, illegal in Egypt. It used to be that 97 percent of all Egyptian women were circumcised, but the figure has been reduced to 66 percent, a stunning decline given that the government has not aggressively enforced the ban. The power of the powerful to steer public opinion can be effectively harnessed to improve the situation of women. We hope this situation is not reversed by the regime change in that nation.
It is also hard to overstate the crucial role played by King Mohammed VI of Morocco in protecting women of his country. A proclaimed descendant of the Prophet Mohammed, the king gave a historic speech on August 20, 1999, in which he stated, “How can society achieve progress, while women, who represent half the nation, see their rights violated and suffer as a result of injustice, violence, and marginalization, notwithstanding the dignity and justice granted them by our glorious religion?” In 2004, the king shepherded an overhaul of family law in Morocco, giving women extraordinary rights compared with their sisters in other Islamic societies. (We detail those changes below.)
The emir of Kuwait, Shaikh Jabir al Ahmad, must also be singled out for special mention. Given the bravery of Kuwaiti women during Iraq’s invasion of that country in 1990–1991 (when by and large the women stayed and fought, even in an armed resistance movement, while the men had to flee for their lives), after Kuwait’s liberation, the emir began to argue that women could no longer be denied the full rights belonging to Kuwaiti citizens, including suffrage and the right to stand for office. Indeed, as early as 1999, the emir attempted to enact such legislation by decree, only to see his efforts nullified by the Kuwaiti parliament, manned by some of the most conservative (male) politicians in the country. He tried several times and failed each time. Finally in 2003, the emir went so far as to formally request that the Kuwaiti parliament honor him by acceding to his plea on this issue, which plea they rebuffed. The emir appointed two women to the Kuwaiti cabinet in early 2005, even though women still did not have the right to vote.
Finally in May 2005, through an intensive organized bottom-up effort featuring the largest and most inclusive public demonstration in Kuwaiti history, plus the added pressure from the emir, the Kuwaiti parliament granted women their suffrage. Shultziner and Tetreault argue that an important element in the passage of this act — which passage surprised both supporters and opponents — was the material inducements offered to members of parliament for their last-minute support, including increased salaries for government employees and increased pension payments, a price that may have totaled fifty million dollars. When we speak, then, of the importance of state personalities in creating progress for women, we must acknowledge that rhetoric may have to be complemented by material pressure of both the carrot and the stick variety.”
“The nation of Morocco stands as an exemplar in this regard. While Westerners erroneously believe that women’s legal rights are incompatible with Islamic law, King Mohammed VI has proven otherwise. The Moudawana, or Family Law, passed in 2004 provides many outstanding examples of how a state can “get” the linkage between the security of women and the security of states. Examples include:
• Legal age of marriage is eighteen for both sexes
• Polygamy is severely constrained, to the point of practical impossibility
• A judge must handle all divorces, even tala divorces in which all that is required is for the husband to say, “I divorce you” three times.
• Children can choose with which parent they wish to live at age fifteen
• Grandchildren from daughters inherit in the same way as grandchildren from sons
• Property is divided equitably after divorce; standard of living for both parties should be similar after divorce
• The duty of a wife to obey her husband is abolished in return for the wife’s equal responsibility to support the household
• A divorced wife may retain custody of children even if she remarries
From the point of view of anthropological research, it is the first two items that are the most significant. As we have seen, ensuring that girls are not married at puberty, but several years afterward, and ensuring that polygamy is virtually abolished are two vitally important elements of family law that increase national security.
Egypt adds another stipulation, which is also commendable: it forbids marriages between men and women where the age difference is greater than twenty-five years.”
“In China, a new “Care for Girls” program was launched, which waives school fees for rural girls and guarantees a (small) pension for families that have only daughters. China has also promoted uxorilocal marriages, where a groom marries into his bride’s family, supports his in-laws in their old age (something not normally done when an only child, a daughter, goes to live with her husband’s parents), and does not pass his surname on to his children. Such families may receive land grants, and the government will build them a house as well,
India has a new pilot program operative in states with the worst sex ratios. If a family has a daughter, they will be paid to keep her with an initial grant of money, and then be paid for various important events, such as vaccinations and school attendance.
Then, if the girl reaches the age of eighteen, has graduated from school, and is not yet married, the government will pay several thousand dollars toward her wedding expenses (dowries are technically illegal in India).”
Creativity & Change From Below
“The simplest way to start bringing about changes in the lives of women is to ask for it. In 2009, an eight-year-old girl in Saudi Arabia asked Prince Khaled al-Faisal, the governor of Mecca and one of the most senior members of the Saudi royal family, why it was that only boys could play sports. Prince Khaled replied that he hoped to see sports courts for girls inside girls’ schools, a sentiment that he had never before expressed. One small child with one small question brought about the strongest and most high-level endorsement yet for a change in the strict regulations that prohibit physical education classes for girls and female participation in the Olympics.
Nisha Sharma created headlines and a new standard for Indian women when with one decision she sent her groom to prison just moments before their wedding. Nisha had met her groom through a classified ad that her parents placed in a newspaper, a common occurrence in India, where arranged marriages are still highly valued. Munish Dalal, a computer engineer, had impressed the Sharmas, and both families went forward with plans for a marriage. Although dowries were prohibited by law, the age-old tradition has survived in the form of extravagant housewarming gifts for the couple and the groom’s family, which the Sharmas provided.
On the day of the lavish wedding with live music, two thousand guests, food, and a dowry of two televisions, two home theater sets, two refrigerators, two air conditioners, and one car, the groom’s family demanded an illegal cash payment of $25,000.
When Nisha’s father said he couldn’t pay, the Dalals erupted in anger, and an outbreak ensued between the two families. In the midst of the chaos, Nisha reached for her cell phone and called the police. When the police arrived, they encouraged the families to proceed with the ceremony, but Nisha refused, saying, “If they treated [my father) so badly, they probably would have done the same to me, or worse.” In fact, in India it is not uncommon for resentment over small dowries to be connected to suspicious “kitchen fires,” which have been responsible for the deaths of several thousand newly married women each year.
Thus, the wedding was embarrassingly canceled, the groom and his mother were arrested, and Nisha became the face of the modern Indian woman. She was hailed for her courageous decision in a situation that often brings shame and mockery upon the bride’s family. Shortly after this single decision, similar stories of brave brides and greedy grooms surfaced, with the women following Nisha’s example. Six months later she married a computer hardware engineer — without a dowry.”
“Gang rapes sanctioned by tribal councils as a form of honor revenge are not uncommon in Pakistan, and any self-respecting woman is expected to commit suicide afterward. Instead, Mukhtar Mai, a Pakistani woman from a poor village, prosecuted her rapists and used the compensation money to open schools, provide an ambulance service, and begin a women’s aid group. Women and girls stagger into Mukhtar’s small remote village with horrendous stories and pleas for sanctuary.”
“One of the most stirring cases in recent years illustrating the power of one step is that of Nujood Ali, a ten-year-old Yemeni girl who was married in 2007 at age nine without her consent to a man in his thirties. After her husband forced himself upon her, beat her, and took her out of school, she took the amazing step of hailing a taxi for the first time in her young life. She had heard that judges in courts granted divorces, and she was determined to see a judge. After arriving at the court building, she waited in the hallway, asking to see a judge. The judge was shocked by her story, and he made a momentous decision both for himself and for the country: “I am going to help you.” Still another judge took her into his home to protect her, and a female lawyer, Shada Nasser, agreed to represent her; her divorce was granted. Nujood recently won Glamour magazine’s award for Woman of the Year. She wants to become a lawyer and is helping to raise funds to fight child marriage in Yemen.”
“In Nepal, a group of boys who had been enlisted as Change Makers in the We Can campaign and were wearing their We Can T-shirts saw some girls being harassed. The boys rushed to intervene and persuaded the troublemakers not to continue in such behavior. Other boys who had not worn their T-shirts ran home to put them on and returned to the scene.”
“One of the more visible accounts of using technology to speak out to thousands and thousands is that of Rania al-Baz, a popular Saudi TV host. During her segments on a show called The Kingdom This Morning, she would wear colorful hijabs and never cover her face. Her life all changed on one evening in April 2004, when her violent husband pounded her face into a marble floor until he thought she was dead while their five-year-old son watched. As her husband drove to dispose of her body, she started to regain consciousness, so he dropped her off at an emergency room, saying she had been in an accident. She lay in a coma for four days. While she was recovering, her father took photos of her disfigured face, which had thirteen fractures.
Knowing that in Saudi Arabia domestic violence was commonly carried out but seldom talked about, Rania decided to go public. Two weeks after the beating, she allowed the photos of her face to be published. News of the attack and of her brave and unprecedented stand spread worldwide.”
“In Turkey, with Its long tradition of magnificent mosque architecture, a woman interior designer has shaken things up with a new mosque, whose interior she designed with “women in mind.” The mihrab, indicating the direction of prayer, is bright turquoise and in the shape of a seashell, and the mimbar (pulpit) is made of acrylic rather than of the traditional wood or stone. Perhaps most importantly, unlike most mosques where women are segregated into poorly lit, partitioned-off back sections and balconies, this mosque positions the women’s section in a well-lit open balcony with a nice view of the beautiful central chandelier. For many years to come, women will be psychologically uplifted and better able to worship in such an inspiring setting, never before available to them.”
“In Turkey, women have sought greater rights to participate within the organizational structure of Islam. Turkey’s religious institutions, to their credit, have taken these requests seriously and have acted to effect progress. They have appointed hundreds of women as preachers (vaizes) and as deputies to muftis with the task of monitoring the work of imams in local mosques, particularly as it relates to women. Zuleyha Seker, one of eighteen vaizes in Istanbul, explained that she does not give sermons or lead prayers; her main duty is to teach religion classes for women. She said, “In the past, [women] believed anything told to them by their older brother, father, or teacher. But as they are becoming more educated, they are coming up with more questions. We need new answers for new questions.” Seker holds a degree in theology and with these new opportunities to teach women, she and others are in unique positions to strengthen women from within the Islamic structure.”
“Creativity is often a critical key to success. Sometimes the most efficacious way forward is an indirect route. In Saudi Arabia, for example, a group of women came up with an idea to create a women-only hotel, the Luthan Hotel and Spa in Riyadh. Its management and staff, including engineers, IT technicians, and bellgirls, are all women, as are its guests. In a country where jobs for women are limited due to restrictions on male and female intermingling, the hotel has offered employment to women with all kinds of skills. In fact, men are hired only as needed as electricians or plumbers. The hotel is preferred by foreign women travelers, for once they are inside its doors they can remove the required headscarves and long black abayas and let their hair down in rooms with pink and purple decor.”
“We have saved our favorite example of creativity for the last. It is the case of Moudhi, a school headmistress in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Refusing to accept the ban on females driving in that country, Moudhi first began her protest by driving herself. When the police stopped her and insisted that she have a driver, she hired a driver — to sit in the back of her car! When the police said that was still unsatisfactory, she began to ride a bicycle in the city streets. Told that even riding a bicycle was not appropriate for women, she took to riding a donkey — a practice documented in the Koran as being the usual mode of transportation for the wives of the Prophet Mohammed. Checkmate, Islamic style: the police were forced to retreat by this impeccable religious logic. Moudhi is now reportedly pressing for “donkey parking” at office buildings and shops.”
“In March 2009 Afghan legislators quietly passed a law that allows a husband to demand intercourse with his wife every four days. The law, which applies only to the Shi’a of Afghanistan, also determines when and why a wife can go out of her home alone. Appalled at Afghanistan’s backsliding, more than a hundred protesters in Kabul called for the law to be repealed, saying it did nothing but legalize marital rape. They were challenged by more than eight hundred counter-protesters who vilified their opponents as agents of the West and not true to Islam. In an effort to defuse the issue, Afghan president Karzai — under intense Western pressure — suspended enforcement and remanded the law to the Justice Department for review.”
“Years after passing the much-hailed 2004 Moudawana (Family Code), Morocco is still struggling with enforcement of the code. One part of the code established eighteen as the minimum age for marriage, but in 2008 more than 31,000 girls under the minimum age were permitted to marry. The code allows judges the right to grant exceptions to the rule, and that they do! Moroccan organizations that worked to get the Moudawana passed are now working to see that it is enforced.”
“Publicizing vivid stories about the punishment of those who harm women is also an important tool that can be used by civil society groups, the media, and the government in concert. Egypt has sexual harassment laws on the books, but it has been only recently that women have stood up and demanded that these laws be enforced. The harassment case of Noha Rushdi Saleh, a documentary filmmaker, is an excellent illustration of this. In 2008, as is common on the streets of Egyptian cities, a driver reached out and fondled her breasts as she was walking past his truck. She protested and the driver tried to drive away, but Noha jumped on the truck; soon it was surrounded by neighbors who volunteered to beat the man and send him on his way. Noha rejected the vigilante approach and decided to press charges. When she went to the police, they tried to talk her out of it, but her father stood by her and told her to file the complaint. In what has become a landmark case, the driver was convicted and sentenced to three years of hard labor.
In a country where, according to one survey, 83 percent of Egyptian women (the number is much higher for foreign women — 98 percent) have been sexually harassed and where 97 percent of those indicated they did not report the crime, the case of Noha has inspired real change. As a result of these and other cases, more and more women are choosing to forgo shame and silence and are seeking instead to have laws enforced, thereby allowing the violence against them to be punished. If consistent punishment could be administered in such cases and simultaneously publicized, sexual harassment would greatly decrease. As long as men think they can get away with it, they will continue to do it. A culture of male impunity must be replaced by a culture of strict male accountability.
Even when a behavior is not illegal, strategic publicizing of shocking events can change the political and social context, allowing new legislation to be passed criminalizing what was previously acceptable in society. In May 2009, after three formal attempts, an eight-year-old girl was finally granted a divorce from her fifty-year-old husband in Saudi Arabia. The case reopened the debate about the propriety and legality of allowing young girls to marry.”
“Judging by appearances, the village of Umoja, Kenya, looks no different from any other village. But a closer look will reveal a very distinctive characteristic: within the mud huts, walking down the dirt roads, and working throughout the village there are only women. This makes Umoja quite a novelty, especially in the midst of the patriarchal milieu in Africa. Founded more than a decade ago to provide a home to roughly three dozen women, the village is the result of the growing acts of sexual violence committed by British soldiers who trained in the area. Unfortunately, after the rapes, husbands would retaliate against their wives and not the soldiers for bringing dishonor and the possibility of STDs. Many of Umoja’s inhabitants were chased away by their husbands and barely escaped with their lives, but others left on their own. Together they have created a home in unity, the theme and name of the village.
Rebecca Lolosoli, the leader of the village, remarked upon the extraordinary change that Umoja inspires in the women. “They’re healthier and happier. They dress well. They used to have to beg. Now, they’re the ones giving out food to others.” Also, with greater financial autonomy afforded by making and selling their trademark intricate bead necklaces, the women have chosen to send their children to school. On occasion, their success has also sparked indignation from their husbands, followed by demands that they return. The self-sufficient women refuse and are backed by the police.”
“In cultures where amicable male-female relationships have never been seen or reinforced, young people do not learn how to interact in mutually supportive ways with the other sex. They do not know how to avoid the possibility of gender conflict, and if such conflict occurs, they have no idea of how to resolve it without violence. Asking men and women to live together with respect and equity in such societies may be asking them to behave in ways that are utterly foreign to them. They simply do not know how to go about it.
Therefore, the next step in the fight against gender violence and exploitation is to provide scripts of interaction when they are absent in society. Researchers have found that new patterns of behavior can be created through the use of such scripts. These can prescribe what to say in the middle of tense moments or how to break down dysfunctional gender stereotypes and create new, healthy, respectful ones. Techniques used by the advertising industry to great effect, such as songs and jingles, can sometimes be used to help women and men remember what to do in given circumstances. Once memorized, they become guidelines of what to say in similar situations.”
“Alexander B. Morrison, a religious authority with whom we are familiar, had the calling to travel and interact with members of his church in other lands. He found ways to inculcate a new definition of manhood through example. At a dinner attended by the local ecclesiastical authorities and their wives in West Africa; for instance, he stood and proposed a toast to his wife, recounting in great detail all of the things he admired about her and reciting the many contributions she had made to him and to the whole family. He then invited the other leaders present to stand and give similar toasts to their own wives. Though their toasts were not necessarily eloquent, the men complied with the request. Several of the women took Morrison aside afterward and told him that they had never heard such words of appreciation from their husbands before, even though these were good and religious men. The women were grateful to Morrison for modeling this behavior for their husbands. In another example, at a church meeting held outdoors in the same area, the men took seats inside a tent that had been erected for the purpose, while the women and children sat outside in the sun. Morrison announced that the church meeting would not proceed until wives and children were seated with their husbands. Changing the definition of what it means to be a “man” is a key focus for the efforts of men dedicated to gender equality. Sometimes eminent men can provide an example that will be persuasive to other men, in a way that women cannot.”
“One of the more noted shows that models new gender interaction behavior is the Turkish soap opera Noor. After being dubbed into colloquial Syrian Arabic, this show became an instant hit in the Arab world. Dubbed foreign soap operas are nothing new to the region, but what is new is a soap opera about Muslims living in an Islamic country. The draw for its mostly female audience is that it portrays an attractive, somewhat observant Muslim couple (Noor and Mohannad) who love and support each other and who treat each other equally and respectfully. The show is probably the most popular series ever to be shown on Arab TV. Its grand finale in 2008 attracted 85 million viewers — 51 million of whom were women over the age of fifteen, which is more than half the total number of women in the Arab world. Because of its popularity with women and because it often contradicts long-held traditions, the show has been opposed by religious clerics in Saudi Arabia. Nevertheless, it is having a discernible impact. A young housewife from Amman, Jordan, explained that she has told her husband that he should learn from Mohannad and follow the way “he treats her, how he loves her, how he cares about her.” This new type of couple interaction provides guidelines for behavior and scripts for dialogue that viewers can integrate into their own marriages, as chivalric texts did during the Middle Ages in Europe.”
“Another approach is to take an existing cultural script and change it to include an equitable vision for women. An example of this approach is found in Somalia, which is ruled by five main clans, with several important subclans. In 1992, when Somalia, was still racked with intertribal conflict, Asha Hagi Elmi founded Save Somali Women and Children (SSWC), with the goal of promoting equal rights for women in politics. It was the first organization of its kind to include members from all of Somalia’s five main clans, thus making it a new kind of structure. Hagi and SSWC worked hard to get women included in the rebuilding of Somalia. In 1997, when a peace conference was announced in Arta, Djibouti, Hagi lobbied both the UN and U.S. president Clinton to ensure that women be allowed to attend as the Sixth Clan of Somalia. Within the language of clan structure, Asha Hagi Elmi argued that since women were excluded from the governance of the five major clans, they therefore constituted a sixth clan of their own. Her efforts to re-script an existing cultural script paid off, and she and other women from the SSWC were invited. This new Sixth Clan restructured traditional thought and impressed the president of Djibouti so much that he allowed Hagi and a hundred other women to attend the Arta peace conference. In 2000, delegates from the Sixth Clan participated in the drafting and, approval of the Transitional National Charter. These women were able to secure twenty-five seats (10 percent of the total for Sixth Clan representatives in the national assembly. Of that momentous accomplishment to secure a place for women in government, Hagi said “For the first time ever in Somali history, Somali women were given their quota. I call that a total revolution.” A few years later the proportion of women in the parliament was increased to 12 percent and Hagi was elected as one of its members. None of this would have happened if Hagi had not been able to write a new political script that included a new Sixth Clan representing more than half of the people of Somalia — the women.”
“She and her colleagues found that when job candidates were evaluated sequentially, one by one, interviewers were more likely to base their decisions on the gender of the candidates. However, when male and female candidates were evaluated simultaneously, the past performance of the candidates became more important than their sex to the evaluators. New scripts, even for such mundane matters as hiring, may be all the “nudge” that is required to improve gender equity.”
“In Japan, after a law was passed in 2003 giving a wife who files for divorce the right to claim up to half her husband’s company pension, men began to examine their marriages, and many decided they did not like what they had become. After decades of husbands’ working long days, drinking through the night, and then staggering home to their brokenhearted wives, some husbands have banded together to join the National Chauvinistic Husbands Association, a misnomer that is clarified once one realizes that the association is for husbands who feel they need help in giving greater respect and priority to their wives and children. This organization of businessmen has grown to more than four thousand; Shuichi Amano, the association’s founder, credits this to the fact that “to be divorced is the equivalent of being declared dead — because we can’t take care of ourselves.” The perilous state of Shuichi’s marriage dawned on him several years ago when his wife asserted that she was “99 percent” sure she would divorce him. He, like many other members of the association that he founded, have now turned their attention to strengthening their marriages by helping around the house, listening to their wives, and, for the bravest, giving thanks, apology, or an expression of love. For another member, Yoshimichi Itahashi, the law has helped focus his mind. His wife said that before, it was as though “he didn’t exist in the family,” and she gave an example: “Up until my 60th birthday, he had not given me anything at all. But on my 60th, he sent me 60 flowers.” With slow moves to make amends for the past, their evolving relationship has followed the same pattern of changing behaviors and attitudes as that of many members. Yoshimichi explained that there is more at stake than just their pensions, saying, “Japan is a peaceful country, but the household is at war!” The purpose of this example is to illustrate that it may take a law to draw attention to the issue, but the key is that men are trying to learn the principles that will help them behave in thoughtful ways, ways that demonstrate their appreciation for their wives, ways that will bring peace home.”
“Regress for women can happen suddenly, it can happen surreptitiously, and it can happen under the radar of the large media outlets. For example, though it is illegal in Russia to require women to wear a headscarf, Chechnya has begun to force such a dress code on women: Women are prohibited from going to school or working for the government if they do not wear the headscarf. Men on the streets, egged on by Chechnya’s provincial leader, have taken to shooting women with paintball guns if they are not wearing headscarves. The Kremlin has not uttered one word of protest about these activities.”
